Doing Nothing on Beaches

Sawatdee from the River Kwai!  We just arrived in Kanchanaburi, a few hours northwest of Bangkok.  Our driver, Mr. Montree (who convinced us that a taxi was worth the extra Baht by stating "I'm not Sicilian!" - 'stealing'...), ignored our attempts to talk about current events, and instead flipped on a karaoke machine.  He spent the whole ride playing air guitar and drumming on the steering wheel, and he was visibly disappointed that we didn't know many Linkin Park or Green Day lyrics.  


We haven't posted in a bit because, frankly, we haven't done much worth reporting during our nine days on the Andaman Coast in Southern Thailand.  Unless you're curious how many synonyms for 'chillaxin' we can come up with... 


But what chillaxin it's been!  The most beautiful spot was Railay:

After Railay, we stayed four nights at Banana Garden Home, along the west coast of Ko Lanta.  Things we learned in Ko Lanta include:

• Thai food is just as delicious in Thailand as it is on the Ave
• Yoga is best when using the ocean horizon as a balancing point.  It's even better when balance is lost not from weakness (after a week sitting on one's butt reading and eating nonstop) but from an ocean breeze or the loving nudges from the local yoga cat
• According to our many taste tests, Chang beer is Thailand's best (though sales of Singha tank tops to dumbass tourists are thriving) 
• Traditional Thai massages (not the ones in sketch motels with happy endings) are not that pleasant - they seem to involve old Thai women walking on the customer, kicking them in the groin, and trying to pull their toes and fingers off

We stopped in Ko Phi Phi for a day.  Instead of joining the hordes of tourists to take another boat to see the beach from 'The Beach,' we decided to hike to some viewpoints.  Here is why we made the right decision:

We scampered down the backside of the hill, wishing our flip flops had better traction, and stumbled upon a great (mostly secluded) beach. 

We had just enough time to grab a longtail boat and make it back for our ferry to Phuket.  For those of you who warned us about Kuta in Bali (and there were many of you), please consider this warning about Patong Beach in Phuket to be paying it forward.  The beach is perhaps too gorgeous and the water perhaps too inviting, as tourists have turned this area into their own personal shitshow.  If you're NOT interested in eating Thai food in Thailand, if you want to buy a toothpick dispenser while fighting for a patch on the beach, or if you'd rather bump into a go-go bar than bookshop, this is the place for you.  That said, we had a great time people watching.  We especially enjoyed the dance show - the best part was watching the faces of the audience (mostly overweight old guys in speedos) as they realized that the sexy dancers were all ladyboys.


Our itinerary gets much busier from here, as we've only got a week to experience Central Thailand before flying to East Africa and going straight to camping in the Serengeti.  Keep in touch!